He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The power of my boobs compel you
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
