just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
