Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
