She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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