I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
