Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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