I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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