Please, let me fuck your mom
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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