i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize