i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
