Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
