I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
