a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Rumble strips road head = magical
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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