the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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