I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
