if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
