the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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