I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
