someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
