Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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