Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
