i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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