I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
