your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
