shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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