Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You need a sexual gate keeper
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
