I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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