I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
