No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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