For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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