I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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