cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
