In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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