I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
