She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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