is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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