For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
