You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
