Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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