you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
