I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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