I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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