I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
