Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
