Already got asked if we're dating
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
