I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
