i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
