How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
