i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
