Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
