i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
