drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
