I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
They have beer where we have blood.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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