Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
