Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
