Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
